Creative response to Elijah's life

LIberate me God. I am tired and weary and have no love left to give, no joy left to give and I don't know what sins to forgive.
I'm alone, naked in the dark and I want to die. I thought you called me, didn't you call me, can this really be a calling; to give my all and then be despised, hunted, cannibalised?
They all took me and with their teeth of hatred and jealousy tore chunks of my flesh. I am Shylock's debtor, Hannibal's meal, Christ's cup and you spat me out.

I have nothing left.
But precious death. Let me go.
Please.

Chuck, Neo, Willow, Joss

Living in the world of Chuck, Neo, Willow, Joss.
Shot in the head.

Understanding.

Sharing the world.
Abuse, sex, judgement.

Praying.

Saying No.

Saying goodbye.

Seeing death.

Being disappointed.

Afraid of the dark.
Condemning the world.

Giving up.

Lying to my face.

In the matrix.

Light at the end of the falling abyss?
Here's hoping.

All this discussion makes me realise that through my reflections I have so little certainty about anything, any of who I am and how and why I am who I am. Yet I quite clearly want those answers.
So I realise I am at an impasse and I wonder why, as someone so concerned with knowing who I am, I find it so difficult to answer that question with certitude?

If I knew the answer to that, the question wouldn’t need answering.